<---fat ass!fat ass --->
It is a very large ass, and I've liked it that way for so long that I forgot what being healthy feels like.
I can't pinpoint the exact time in my life when I became fat...it's been over the course of many years...but I DO know that it began after the summer of 2000 because that was my thinnest year in the KIDS from Wisconsin. Here's what I'd LOVE to look like:
After that, it was all down hill.
Now, I could blame it on the medication I was taking at the time - a combination of birth control and anti-depressants (this was also the summer that I realized there was a serious chemical imbalance in my brain and hormones), and I could blame it on the fact that I had a sedentary job of sitting at a desk and entering data for 8 hours a day over the course of my J-term break from college...
But let's be realistic.
I'm fat because I like to eat. I like to eat what I want to eat. And I like to eat WHEN I want to eat.
And I LOATHE exercising. I hate how I look when I'm exercising, how I sweat when I'm exercising, how I smell when I'm exercising, and the sharp pains I get in my chest, sides, legs, arms, and butt while I'm exercising. If I was captured by Somalian pirates, they'd realize very quickly that the only torture device they'd need to make me pay them millions of USD was a treadmill - well, that is, if they could fit a treadmill on their boat. (Note to self - research Somalian Pirate boat size).
SO...I decided to do a blog on my weight loss efforts, not only because I want to have a record of what I eat and dont eat and when I do and don't exercise, but also because I want everyone who reads this to hold me accountable. Feel free to judge me for downing a whole pint of haggen-daaz in one sitting. Or a gallon bag full of popcorn. Hell, I judge myself!
So, it will be all out there for all to see. And I'm past the point of being ashamed about it. I just need to get myself healthy for me and for my kids. And, mostly, I want my husband to think I'm sexy again, though I know he'd argue that he already does...
Will my language be coarse at times? Of Course!
Will there be days when that pint of ice cream seems more appealing than an apple? You betcha.
Will I ask myself questions and then answer them, even though I hate when people do that? Absolutely I will.
Here are my goals:
1) Lose 40 lbs. (which doesn't even come close to the healthy weight for someone of my height, but I need to take it one step at a time)
2) Be able to run a mile
3) Learn how to make healthy meals (fast) from scratch
4) Like my body
I'm sick of feeling this way.
You have goals. That's a place to start. Oh yeah, and you KNOW you can do it, so you can do it.
ReplyDeleteGot it? Good!