Holy Crap!

Holy Crap - it's June in 2 days, and I just realized I haven't blogged since March 30th?!  What the hell is wrong with me?

As I sit in my room listening to my 2 kids fighting, and I'm dripping in sweat from the first hotter than blazes day we've had so far this "summer," I'm wondering where the last 2 months went...

Here are my updates:

While I wasn't at the zoo, children's museum, other zoo, sidewalk, beach, park, other park, other other park, or working, teaching, directing, fundraising, recital-ing, singing, bathing, feeding my kids, bathing my kids, bathing my kids after feeding my kids...I was getting fatter.

<--- my fat ass enjoying a basketball game

<--- me and The Don

Yes, you heard me right - I gained 7 lbs.  What.  The.  Hell.  ??.

I was hoping the rapture would just take care of it all for me but that asshat Camping or Campbell or whatever got it wrong.  Again.  Some people just shouldn't be aloud to live make predictions.  I'm just glad I didn't quit my job like some of the other idiots out there.  "Ooooh - the rapture's coming.  And even though the bible says no one knows when it's coming, I think I'll quit my job and sell all my stuff because some guy who got the date wrong before says he knows exactly when it's going to be."  You dumbasses deserve to be jobless and belonging-less.

This could've happened to me...but it didn't, fool!  Now I have no excuse not to lose the weight.  I hate you, rapture-less May!

By the way, for those of you who don't know me on facebook, this was his equation:

If the #5 represents "atonement" in the bible, and 10 represents "completeness," and 17 represents "heaven"... then, clearly:

(atonement X completeness X heaven) (squared) = 722,500

And 722,500 days after Jesus died on the cross was APPARENTLY May 21st, 2011 - the day of the supposed rapture. 

Whatever.  That's about as believable as me saying I weigh 120 lbs.  Or Kim Jong Il is just the nicest guy.  Or I don't love Fergie Ferg.

NOT my weight ------>

<---- not the nicest guy

LOVE her ----->

                                                                                                   

So, anyway, the moral of the story is that because the rapture didn't come, I'm stuck with now trying to lose more weight.  But I have to admit that I wasn't trying very hard.  So my goal for the summer:  use my gym membership I won at an auction wisely so as not to embarrass my family when I'm in a swimsuit in their presence.